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ON CHANGE
AND SUFFERING
by
Laurel Steinhice,
Channeling Ho-Toi (the Laughing Buddha)
As the Buddha has said, all your suffering is caused by your
resistance to what is. Change is.
Humanity has a certain natural resistance to change. We
ask for change; profess ourselves ready for it; we get it … and then we ask
ourselves (or the Universe) why our lives are suddenly upside-down.
We are often fearful of leaving the comfort of the familiar for
the uncertainty of emerging patterns. Growth opportunities often come
wrapped in a plain brown wrapper marked “challenge,” and we respond by
resisting. Resistance causes suffering.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot
change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the
difference. In this paraphrase of a prayer by St. Francis of Assisi, we
recognize the Judeo-Christian equivalent of the Zen Buddhist saying, all
your suffering is caused by your resistance to what is. Yet notice also
how the word/concept “change” figures in the prayer: it is an active verb; a
statement of action.
The opening tenets of the prayer itself are, in part, a
statement of unempoweredness … and a statement of empoweredness; a
recognition that some things can be changed and others cannot. The closing
tenet is a call for wisdom (discernment) as an aid to balancing the mutable
and immutable aspects of one’s present existence.
As seekers of Oneness, we acknowledge ourselves to be a part of
the positive Universe; we affirm that we are empowered beings and can change
anything. And so it is. Yet none among us is as yet so fully
empowered that we can - or should - change everything, including
those aspects of our personal existences (present lifetimes) which are
deeply interconnected to the existences of others. All others, for
no one stands apart; we are all interactive, one with another.
In praying, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I
cannot change,” we are acknowledging that the individual and collective free
will of others has an impact on our separate selves and lives. We cannot
impose our personal decisions for change on others without their cooperation
and participation.
We cannot redefine consensus reality without a consensus, a mass
consciousness. We cannot assure the full and final external resolution of
old (or new!) interpersonal conflicts without the goodwill and assistance of
those involved in the conflict. We cannot make a lasting peace with - or on
behalf of - those who are determined to wage war. Nor can we afford to stop
trying. The question is no longer whether conflict shall cease on
this planet, but rather when and how.
Sometimes it seems to go so slowly and so badly that we feel
little or no progress is being made. We become greatly frustrated. We
suffer as a response to frustration (stress).
Yet we can alleviate our own suffering to a great degree, by
recognizing and accepting what is, i.e., the fact that others are not
keeping pace with the rate of growth/change that we have tried to set for
them, in our own expectations. We can also learn to accept what is
by reexamining our own perceptions of the need for change. Perhaps we were
mistaken in our evaluations of a given situation. Perhaps it is we,
ourselves, who should change - instead of expecting and insisting that
others be changed to suit our liking. Or perhaps there are valid
opportunities for compromise.
In praying, “God grant me the courage to change the things I
can,” we are acknowledging the essential empowerment of Oneness. We affirm
our Oneness with the Universe, our ability to use “The Force.” We are
“The Force.” And how does The Force/empowerment manifest itself toward
realization of Oneness? By change. Change is the active verb, the
practical application of the concept of empowerment through which we
manifest personal, interpersonal, and consensus realities.
Change is wonderful! It is a tool for the betterment of
ourselves and others; a door to the path of LightSelf and ultimate Oneness.
Why, then, does it bring suffering? Why do we so often fear it? It is the
smallest self, the here-and-now incarnate self, who fears.
It is the smallest self in us who clings to limitations; to
perceptions of unempowerment; to the non-challenges of the familiar and
comfortable past. It is the smallest self who fears the awakening of the
Higher Self, through change.
As the Higher Self awakens, it takes control. This is a fixed
principle; we all know this instinctively, from within. The Higher Self
is the self, of which the here-and-now aspect of the present incarnation
is but a dim reflection, as seen through a glass, darkly.
Aha! So it is losing control that the smallest self
fears. It is obliteration; absorption into the larger whole. Is it so?
Does the smallest self become engulfed by the greater, through growth? Yes.
The smallest self clings to limitations, because those very
limitations are definitions of the self’s smallness. The smallest self
holds sway over one’s day-to-day activities like a big frog in a small pond,
and fears becoming a small frog in a big pond … but the small pond is drying
up! The world is changing! Therein lies the pain: created reality is
interactive. Whether you are the one who initiated it or not, change
is.
All your suffering is caused by your resistance to what
is. Change is. You cannot manifest non-change, for by
attempting to do so, you are attempting to deny the interconnectedness of
consensus reality. Upon your planet, now, in your present lifetime, change
is.
So what can be done to alleviate your suffering? You can
lower your resistance to change. Work with it, instead of attempting to
deny it. Bring discernment (“…the wisdom to know the difference”) to bear.
Identify avenues of action - manifesting change - that are appropriate,
productive and satisfying. Pursue these paths from an empowered and
empowering stance, recognizing that the free will and growth-rate flow of
others is deeply interactive with your own.
You are a Lightworker. You have chosen the path of spiritual
awakening. In the interactive world around you, there are many who have not
yet chosen this path, or who have chosen to follow it at a more leisurely
pace. One of the major challenges facing you today is growth rate
disparity.
Some are more resistant to change than others; some cling to the
limitations of the smallest self, while others plunge into the accelerated
vibrational flow gratefully, with a feeling of having “waited so long” for
the opportunity. You can only control your own accelerated-change response,
not that of others. Failure to seek the “serenity to accept the things I
cannot change” will cause you to suffer frustration, stress, pain.
Follow your own path at your own pace, and allow others to do
the same. Serve as an example, a catalyst, a supporter, a teacher/student
(for all teachers also learn from their students, though the lessons may
vary widely). Serve as a spur to growth, even as a challenge to others, if
that is your path. Grow within yourself! Help others to grow within
themselves, by supporting and spurring their journeys of enlightenment!
Then use your discernment again, to recognize when the essential purpose of
any interpersonal bonding, group, or social affiliation has been served.
Learn to know when it’s time to let go, and accept further
change with good grace, even if it means outgrowing the comfortable and
familiar. Even if it means moving on, and leaving some things - and some
people - behind.
Change is. And if you just sit there, stuck, resisting
it, you will suffer.
Author’s
note: This
article was written in 1989, but has had a tendency to age well. It has
been published in Trans (Nashville, TN), EnLightenments
(Cincinnati, OH), The Crystal Tower (Des Moines, IA), and numerous
other magazines.
©
Laurel Steinhice, 1989, 2001
P.O. Box 50145
Nashville, TN 37205
615-356-4280
steinhice@earthlink.net
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